Top Ten: April Fools Jokes (Previously Unpublished)
This is a previous unpublished article originally written for another site, included here so that fans can read the uncensored versions.
WARNING! This article is intended as a piece of satirical diatribe. Some readers may find the language and themes within extremely offensive.
IMPORTANT: Do not attempt the technical tricks described in this article unless you are sure you know what you are doing. Neither TheSixthAxis nor myself accepts any responsibility for hardware or software you break or brick, whether you followed the instructions properly or not. Some of the items below are quite irresponsible and should be handled with extreme caution.
As we all know, there’s nothing funnier than annoying another person and wasting their time, so here are some quick April Fool’s Day tips for you:
System Failure: The PG Version
Make a file called index.html and upload it to a web server with the following content:
<html><head><title>PlayStation 3 System Failure</title></head><body style=”background-color: red”><div style=”font-size: 72pt; font-weight: bold; color: black”>WARNING: A fatal system error has occurred. Please contact your nearest Sony representative for assistance. Error code 4PR17-F001.</div></body></html>
Open your friend’s PS3 web browser to the site you’ve uploaded to then turn the TV off. Enjoy the look on their face as they come home for some nice gaming and switch on to see the failure message.
System Failure: The Hardcore Unrated Version
Install Linux on your friend’s PS3. Set Firefox or Opera to start by default and set the homepage to the same page as above. Set the OS to auto-login. Remove your friend’s keyboard.
Result: every time he turns on his PS3 he’ll be greeted with the failure message with no way to start any games or other applications. To put the machine back to normal, type “boot-game-os” at the prompt when it is turned on.
Screw up PSN connectivity
Add a entry in your friend’s router or firewall to block “*.playstation.net”. Or you can just go into your friend’s PS3’s network settings and change the static IP to something random. However the first method works best as he will check all his PS3 network settings and be unable to find the problem.
Result: all the other machines on your friend’s LAN will work but his PS3 won’t be able to log in.
The Modern Warfare 2 variant
This is a classic if your friend is a Call of Duty whore. Simply block port 3074 on his router. His PS3 will go online and all the games will work but he won’t be able to find any matches in Modern Warfare 2.
Force firmware update on every boot
Make a series of directories in the root of your web site (usually httpdocs) as follows: /update/ps3/list/eu. Replace ‘eu’ with ‘us’ if you’re in the US. In this folder, make a file called ps3-updatelist.txt (case-sensitive) with the following text:
Replace the number 13.3370 with any number that amuses you.
This file tells the PS3 what the latest firmware version is and where to download it from. Now you need to trick the PS3 into checking this file instead of the official one. For that, install ettercap on a Linux box or use a program like PS3.Proxy.GUI for Windows.
Spoof fus01.ps3.update.playstation.net to point to the IP address of your web site. Tutorial here (just replace ps3news.com’s IP with your own, the rest of the instructions are the same):
Result: every single time your friend turns on his PS3 he’ll be made to download a firmware update (the file above will just cause firmware 3.15 to be re-downloaded) – which will no doubt drive him crazy.
The AV Scrambler
Does your friend have a TV with multiple inputs, or an amp? Re-arrange every video and audio cable arbitrarily. I have 8 inputs on my TV and 11 on my amp, and they’re all used. That would drive me absolutely crazy. For added effect, make sure to mismatch the audio and video cables for different devices so that when he changes input he gets the video for one device and the sound for another. When he detects the ruse, tell him his girlfriend was trying to get the Wiimote to connect.
Set the parental lock to its highest restriction level with a random PIN code. A quick solution to preventing many of his games from working.
Another easy classic, change your friend’s XMB background to porn or something equally offensive for when he switches it on in front of someone else.
Set system language to Japanese
Speaks for itself.
The Disk Scrambler
My personal favourite. My initial thoughts here were to use the grouping options to completely mess up the location of your friend’s PSN games. But then I had a better idea. It only works if your friend has a lot of Bluray games, say more than 40.
Assuming they are arranged horizontally on the shelf, take each disk out of the Bluray case and place it in the Bluray case 4 items to the left. Put the left-most 4 in the right-most 4 cases. In other words, all of the game boxes should remain in the same place, but all of the disks inside should be rotated left by 4 places.
See how long it takes your friend to figure out the “code”. The best part about this is, if he has as many games as me, it may be months of amusement for you before he bothers to put them all back in order again. Enjoy as he decides to play a game, goes to his shelf and you see his finger count 4 places to the left to find the actual game he wants to play.
Delete the Game Data
Ok first a word of warning. Do not delete the game data for LittleBigPlanet or any music game as it contains user-created level data and downloaded songs. Do not delete the game data for other such games, and definitely do not delete the save data as that is really cruel and not recoverable.
Result: every single game he tries to play will need to re-install and re-patch.
User account chenanigans
Make a new user account with an almost identical nick to your friend’s. Set it to auto-login. When he turns on his PS3, he will think he has lost all his settings, friends list and trophies. It will take him a moment to realise it is not his account. Priceless.
Remove the hard disk
Simple enough. Get a small watch screwdriver, unclip the panel, remove the HDD, hide it somewhere and re-attach the panel. His PS3 will epic fail to start every time. Replacing the HDD will put everything back to normal with no ill consequences. Just be careful not to ruin the heads on the screws as they are very soft.
Happy April 1st!